Who could possibly resist the innocence look of a baby/ infant?
They went all goo goo ga ga over the baby...
Well, if you ask me I DON'T give a damn.
The simple reason being is that I associate this innocence child with the "caregivers".
I had so much hatred for them that I can't even look at those innocence eyes.
This brings me to the past whereby my grandparents took care of us.
Now I understand why they behave the way I do NOW.
I have went through those innocence phase and I suffered so much agony of being rejected by LOVE ONES.
Being an adult when I recall my past, it hurt me till NOW.
Seeing my grandparents NOW being in their OLD AGE..
It made me self reflect on myself...I dun have to act the way that they did...Im mature and I can think for myself.
Forgive them....I did just that till they disappoint me again and again and again....
Only when my grandpa passed away, I let bygone be bygone.
We took care of grandma but its tough, we tried our best..
Now the table has change.
Im in my grandparents shoes now.
I forsee that my niece will grow up hating me...
And now you can see where this will lead me...
Hatred, grudges, vengence, revenge...
It easier said than done...
Im not being the one suffering in the hands of the monstrous-in-law...
In clear mind and deep inside I know/ rather we knew..
brother had a hard time of his own but that is his responsibility as a breadwinner of his family.
CHANGES....
Why do we hate changes??????
....someday we may just die....everyone has to perish from this world...may it be animals or plants....
we grew up from baby to an adult- thats changes
We graduate from kintergarten to secondary school- thats changes
Our hair from short to long- thats changes
we reach puberty- thats changes
we fall in love/ like/ admire someone- thats changes
marriage/ move house/ have baby- thats changes
In our life theres bound to have changes.... its either our attitude, our behaviour, our moods- all changes whether you like it or not...
Now I understand the meaning of you will only realise the importance of someone only when you lost them....
ASK YOURSELF these:
where were you when that someone is close by/ live under the same roof..you were so caught up in your own life...
you dont even acknowledge them being there...you do your own stuff
you were never have time for them..all you did is raise your voice
you cant even find the time sitting down with them and ask a simple question like hows your day today?
BUSY BUSY BUSY
BUSY with what?
YOURSELF....
NOW, bro has a family and I have my fair share of getting in a way of being the person who poke my nose in their family issues and I learnt not to get involve.
My piece of advice....ITS YOUR LIFE ANYWAY....
ITS YOUR CALL.
K let me say this in rationale way...lets not put my personal view on this if not it gets nasty...
for my sista Kat, she wanted an office cum house to cater to all her needs and for her convenience.
IF ONLY thats the real reason I respect that....
I can only describe her as the dare devil...she go for anything or cease any opportunity that comes by without thinking of the consequences...
Well if thats can lead to her success in life then I support her...
Shes an adult now...
My piece of advise: You have to pay a high price for it...Most Important, being independent is not simple...trust also doesnt come easy...
and now you must think of your financial and learnt how to save...also you must learnt how to take care of yourself...dun ever get caught from having a new problem...yeah we can be helpful in a way but not to the extend of being ordered around....
I just wondered why at times we can be so nice to strangers and not to your love ones....
just do self reflect and think.....
I justt felt that you leave me when you are needed the MOST.
I may be NAGGY....but hate me for all I care but TRUST ME...
Im just here to say my piece..then i will go and mind my own business....I HAVE TO LEAD MY LIFE TOO YOU KNOW
Being the eldest now in my family...its not that simple...
I cant ran away as much as i want to..
Though at times my parents can be a pain in the butt...argue, quarrel...the silence treatment...all you wanna do is flee BUT i decide to stay put and be the peace maker as long as i could hold myself and the family together. If i have to spend $ that i find it worth it but just dun make me feel that it all worthless and went down the drain...IT HURT SO MUCH that you could ever imagine..
I ALWAYS TELL MYSELF THIS: LET ME DO SOMETHING IN RETURN FOR YOU..
I DO WHAT I CAN DO TILL I KNOW ONE DAY I CAN JUST LET YOU GO...WHEN THAT DAY COMES I KNOW THAT I HAVE DONE MY PART AS A DAUGHTER OR SISTER. TILL THAT DAY COMES I WILL BE THAT PERSON YOU COULD HATE MOST.
I DONT TALK COCK HERE..I TALK with RATIONALE....
and my piece of advise for my other two sistas....as long as you have me and my support...do succeed in your own life and also do remember the hands that feed you...thats all i ask for...
I knew you must have envy me in any way....esp when mum compare....or WHATEVER...ALL I CAN SAY IS I EARN THAT AND THAT DOESNT COME EASY... I HAVE BEEN THROUGH WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TRU'.
IF YOU ASK ME...I envy your time whereby you have your sistas to back you up when time is really hard....
LOOK DEEPER AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY THINGS HAPPEN THIS OR THAT WAY..
dont take things so seriously and try to handle it....look at it from that person point of views...dont judge....dont point fingers...
LIFE IS SIMPLE IF WE COULD JUST POINT FINGERS BUT THAT IS NOT THE SOLUTION...
POEPLE MINDSET IS HARD TO CHANGE but if you could be the someone that can change the world then be that person...
I NEVER SAID THAT IS EVER EASY BUT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
I MAY NOT KNOW HOW DOES THE FUTURE BE FOR US...BUT JUST REMEMBER ONE THING...IF I EVER BREAKDOWN OR FALTER...PLEASE KNOW THAT I HAVE TRIED MY BEST....AND THATS ALL TO IT....IF YOU STILL HAVE ME IN YOUR HEART PLEASE CATCH ME AND BLOCK MY FALL...IF THATS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR...
ONE DAY WE MAY EVEN NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER....ITS A CURSE...BUT HEAR ME SAY THAT I WILL BE THERE CLOSE BY.
Now let things go smoothly....look it this way...you work i also working, you got problems at work i also got problems...you stress at school, i also ever stress at school...OK DUN COMPARE BUT I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR POSITION. IF I CAN WENT THROUGH ALL THAT THEN SHUT YOUR ASS UP AND WENT THROUGH IT AND PROVE TO ME THAT YOU CAN SURVIVE...
AND JUST DO ME A FAVOUR>>>> DUN EVER SAY YOU DUN UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH>>>
I WILL BE NASTY AND THROW THIS BACK AT YOU>>>DO YOU UNDSTAND ME THEN....IF NOT SHUT UP AND LET NATURE RUNS IT COURSE....STOP WHINING AND STOP CRAVING FOR SOMEONE THAT HAVE LEAD THEIR OWN LIVE INSTEAD LOOK AT THE PERSON WHO IS CLOSE BY AND ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR PRESENCE....DONT WAIT UNTIL YOU FINALLY REALISE THAT IT IS TOO LATE.
it just take a simple act of patting someone on the back to let them know that you care. do stuff together like giving in to them...its hard i knew..i been there....
LETS SAY I HAVE FORSEE A STORM COMING BUT I WILL TRY TO PREVENT IT WITH MY MIGHT UNTIL I KNEW THAT I HAVE TO LET IT GO...
BEAR THIS IN MIND THINGS HAPPEN FOR REASONS....
CHANGES IS SUCKS BUT YOU ARE CURRENTLY EXPERINCING CHANGES EVERYDAY.
GOD BLESS...LOVE YA ALL..
NO HARD FEELINGS...AND DUN GET PERSONAL....
IF YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH THEN THIS IS WHAT YOU GET...
PS: THANKS MARIAH FOR THE TAG....
DONT EVER LET ANYTHING COME IN OUR WAY....DUN BE SURPRISE THAT EVEN BLOOD TIES CAN BE THE REASON TO CONFLICT...THEREFORE BE MENTALLY PREPARE AND TRY TO REASON WITH GODS INTERVENTION.
