I have been a pessimistic individual who look at the world in a negative aspect. As if a black clouds always form on top of me whereever I go. I create a shield within myself and unaware that its hard for others to come near me. Many things have happened for these past few months and I have been juggling with my own emotions. I am, my own enemy, I prevent myself from achiving something, from being happy, not even 1% of it.
I'm not being satisfied with myself nor am I going to mourn for the lost of time that have passed me by. Feelings of guilt and regrets will remain scarred in my hearts but If I'm willing to change and be an optimistic person, I will accomplished something.
For now I have to fought my own battle of scaredness. Whenever I think of the negatives things that would happened, I will always have diarrhoea. I have always blamed it on others just to hide my true feelings.
Comments that I have from others are:
You perceived that people is bullying you.
You are panicky.
Crying baby.
Someone even wrote me a note:
LIFE IS NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE OR NOT HAVE.
IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND VALUE. :)-- and this come from a person that I dislike but I admired his guts for staying in the business though its not his cup of tea. People around gave him a hard time but I didnt ever seen him falter and he still remained to stand tall and be his usual shelf and escaping is not in his dictionary.
But escaping is in my DICTIONARY. When things doesnt go the way that I want it to be, without fail I will set sail and go to the next destination. The cycle will keep going on and on till I put a stop to it.
Tough but GAMBATTE...FIGHT-TO OH, AZA AZA FIGHTING.
